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Question: What does the Family Proclamation mean when it says fathers "preside" over their families?
Question: What does the Family Proclamation mean when it says fathers “preside” over their families?
Introduction to Question
In September 1995, top general leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a document entitled The Family: A Proclamation to the World. In it, the divine institution of the family is described and defended. Part of this document talks about some general gender roles given to men and women. Fathers, it says, are to “preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” Mothers “are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” In these responsibilities, it says, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
Confusion has arisen over how fathers can “preside” over their families while mothers are supposed to help the father in that responsibility as an “equal partner.”
This article seeks to address this confusion.
Response to Question
The Definition of the Word “Preside”
We start with the definition of “preside.” The etymology of the word “preside” is interesting. It traces back to the Latin words “prae” and “sedere.” When combined, they literally mean “to sit in front of.” It was used in Latin to signify “standing guard” and “superintending.” Thus, the word carries the dual meaning of protecting something and leading something (or someone). That is why the word is included in others like "president."
Fathers Receive Revelation on Behalf of their Families
In the Church, there is a large and well-established structure of leadership. This video outlines that leadership in detail:
The President of the Church, considered to be a prophet of God, receives revelation on behalf of the entire Church. Each person receives revelation for his or her own position and correlative sphere of influence in the Church. The more general the leader, the more general their stewardship. An Elder’s Quorum President can receive revelation to direct the Elder’s Quorum, a Bishop might be able to receive revelation to direct the Elder’s Quorum, but the Elder’s Quorum President cannot receive revelation on behalf of the whole ward like the Bishop can.For a family, Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught that “it is the priesthood leadership of a family” that receives revelation for it: the husband.[1] Similarly, in the October 2005 General Conference of the Church, Oaks limited authority to preside in the family to a "father or single-parent mother[.]"[2] Paul taught in Corinthians that “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”[3] Similarly, in Ephesians, Paul tells wives to "submit [themselves] unto [their] own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."[4] Thomas B. Marsh was told to “[g]overn [his] house in meekness, and be steadfast.”[5]
A husband may choose to collapse this and pray together with his wife for joint revelation, but it is his right and choice to collapse it. This is similar to how a person can receive revelation to guide their own life through their own prayers but then outsource that authority anytime they elect for a man to give them a priesthood blessing. It is that person's right to choose who exercises that authority in any given moment.
A husband can lose the efficacy of his priesthood authority and power if he is not keeping his life in accordance with the moral laws and other statutes laid out in scripture. That is made clear in Doctrine and Covenants 121:36-44 which includes telling men that they cannot act in "unrighteous dominion" over others. Thus, if a man's family is to receive guidance from God, he is obligated to act in accordance with the commandments. He should strive to include his wife in the leadership of his family as much as possible. His authority is not equivalent to a dictatorship.
This patriarchal structure will be dismantled entirely when man and woman become gods. Doctrine and Covenants 132 clearly teaches that a man and woman who are sealed become gods that share an absolutely equal amount of power (even if their powers may be qualitatively different) and become "one" even as all the gods are one: acting in total unison with each other with the same purpose.[6] This is added incentive for a man to share (or "outsource" or "collapse") his leading authority with his wife on an ongoing basis and pray with her jointly for revelation: to practice for the day when they will share power equally and outright.
Indeed, we are trying to restore the "one flesh," equal partnership envisioned by the Creation accounts. Paul taught in Corinthians that "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."[7] Similarly, he taught the Ephesians to "[submit]...one to another in the fear of God."[8] He told married Ephesian men to “ love [their] wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” “So ought men,” he says, “to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church[.]”[9] The goal of this life, as taught by scripture, is to become "of one heart and one mind."[10] Elder Boyd K. Packer taught that "[i]n the Church there is a distinct line of authority. We serve where called by those who preside over us. In the home it is a partnership with husband and wife equally yoked together, sharing in decisions, always working together.”[11] Elder L. Tom Perry taught that "[t]here is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family…They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.”[12] This may add new and deep meaning to trying to become equal partners while still having separate spheres of responsibility in mortality. This view may also unify some of the seemingly contradictory statements from the leading authorities of the Church and scripture on this issue.
Conclusion
It’s not uncommon for questions of authority like this to rise on occasion. It is the authors hope that this article will serve in our continued efforts to become more unified in our understanding.
Notes- ↑ Dallin H. Oaks, "Revelation," New Era 11, no. 9 (September 1982): 45–46.
- ↑ Dallin H. Oaks, "Priesthood Authority in the Family and the Church," Ensign 35, no. 11 (November 2005): 26.
- ↑ 1 Corinthians 11:3
- ↑ Ephesians 5:22-24
- ↑ Doctrine and Covenants 31:9. There is no like counsel for women in the Doctrine and Covenants. Thus the scripture's inclusion here.
- ↑ Doctrine and Covenants 132:19-20; John 17:11, 20-23
- ↑ 1 Corinthians 11:11
- ↑ Ephesians 5:21
- ↑ Ephesians 5:25-29
- ↑ Moses 7:18; Philippians 2:2; 1 Peter 3:15; Doctrine and Covenants 38:27.
- ↑ Boyd K. Packer, “The Relief Society,” Ensign 28, no. 5 (May 1998): 73.
- ↑ L. Tom Perry, “Fatherhood, an Eternal Calling,” Ensign 34, no. 5 (May 2004): 71.